Embracing Messiness: The Art of Thriving in Disarray
Welcome back, Friends,
As a child, did you strive to colour within the lines or keep your Play-Doh colours from mixing? Were you discouraged from jumping into mud puddles or making a mess? As adults, we often view messiness as an inconvenience…something more challenging than maintaining order and simplicity. But what wonders might we be missing by not allowing room for the messiness inherent in living a full, human life?
We often avoid messiness to sidestep discomfort and hurt, or to expedite our journey toward our goals. This approach is understandable, but in doing so, could we be missing out on the unexpected opportunities and magic that can arise from the unknown? I’m not suggesting we seek out messiness in our lives, but I am advocating for cultivating a little more tolerance so we don’t avoid it, and can experience the beauty that can lie within life’s inevitable twists and turns.
Consider relationships, where expressing difficult thoughts, fears, or feelings can feel daunting. Avoiding these conversations might dodge immediate conflict, but it doesn’t make the underlying thoughts, fears or feelings disappear. Instead, this approach often leads them to show up in other, less constructive ways, like passive-aggressive behavior, simmering resentment, and a sense of disconnection—not just from others, but from ourselves. While confronting these issues can be messy, it also opens doors to clarity and deeper connection.
The same goes for our careers. Staying in a familiar yet unfulfilling job may seem easier than navigating the uncertainty of a new path. Even if we don’t like it, there is a predictability to it that feels comforting. However, the internal conflict of living out of alignment with our true desires can create its own mess.
If we want things to be different, we need to be willing to do things differently. This means being willing to look in the mirror at our own patterns and take responsibility for how we’ve been showing up. That doesn’t involve shaming ourselves but making the decision to understand where these patterns are coming from so we can then learn to approach things differently. Dismantling old patterns can feel messy for a while; it can feel like we’ve lost some control over our lives, which our ego so desperately clings to. What lies on the other side however, is greater contentment and inner peace.
If there’s a part of you that feels it’s time to make a change, whether internally or externally, here are a few reminders to help you embrace the messiness that comes with it:
The Mess is Temporary: Life is a series of seasons; some full of stillness, others full of change. Recognizing that nothing is permanent can be liberating.
You Have Survived Every Season So Far: When overwhelmed, remind yourself of your resilience—you have a proven track record for navigating every challenge life has presented so far.
New Tools Are Always Available: If old strategies no longer work, there are always new resources to explore—books, podcasts, friends, or coaches.
Connect to Your Body: When things feel chaotic, it’s easy to default to living purely in our heads. It’s often what happens when our ego is attempting to gain more control. Grounding yourself in your body through breathwork, movement, or exercise can bring you back to the present moment and help us from spiralling in anxious thoughts.
Most Worries Don’t Materialize: It’s natural to anticipate problems, and it can leave us feeling exhausted. Remember, studies suggest that 85% of what we worry about never happens, and we handle the rest better than we expect.
Let’s occasionally dare to colour outside the lines and discover the magic that awaits in the messiness of life!
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
