Embracing Less – Simplifying Through the Holiday Season
Happy holidays and welcome back!
The holiday season often ushers us into the spirit of abundance – of giving, receiving, and indulging. Yet, amid the festive allure of “more is more,” there lies an opportune moment to consider the beauty of embracing less. Less stuff, less stretching ourselves too thin, less control, and fewer expectations.
The act of giving is undoubtedly beautiful – a lovely expression of care and consideration. However, it’s true radiance shines when it stems from authenticity and alignment. We all recognize the feeling when someone shows up in a way that isn’t genuine – it’s palpable. Remember the adage, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? It’s a truism I hold close, especially this time of the year. That doesn’t mean my cup is always overflowing. As a recovering people-pleaser and perfectionist, I too-often found myself attempting to pour from an empty vessel. Now, my focus is on ensuring there’s enough in my cup for both the recipient AND myself. I’ve learned to prioritize my needs, ensuring that when I’m done pouring, there’s still some left for me.
One of the most challenging aspects of this journey was confronting the fear of letting someone down. Whether dealing with acquaintances or those close to my heart, the fear was intense. Working towards this demanded vulnerability and honesty. I had to express, with transparency, when I lacked the capacity – financially, emotionally, or physically – to give in that moment. Granting others the opportunity to understand and respect my circumstances, while also giving them the space to feel whatever feelings of disappointment that might arise was pivotal. At the same time, I had to remind myself that someone can feel disappointment about a situation and still care for me. This delicate balance can be challenging, which is why I also had to practise in the smaller moments.
Another area where embracing less has been liberating is in relinquishing control. As someone who struggled with anxiety for years, the idea of letting go was just plain terrifying – to the point that it wasn’t even something I could consider. Yet, the tighter my grip on someone or something, the more elusive control became. The firmer my grip, the less flexible I was, the more it felt like things crumbled in my grasp. Loosening that grip of control came with a combination of strengthening my self-esteem and self-trust with the support of a coach, and working on my nervous system.
An added bonus of this shift has been the ability to set fewer expectations for myself and others. That isn’t to imply we should accept poor treatment or an absence of goals. Instead, it’s about allowing myself and others to be who we are, and navigating accordingly. I pursue my aspirations while embracing self-compassion along the way. And when I encounter a misalignment of values with others, rather than trying to change them or assassinate their character, I choose how much energy I want to invest in those relationships.
In embracing the idea of less, I’ve discovered that life has become a bit simpler, a touch lighter. Continuously piling on plans, possessions, and expectations creates overwhelming clutter and exhaustion. I’ve been at that breaking point – where my body, burdened by stress and illnesses, screamed “enough!” It led me to a pivotal choice: to heed the message, or wait for a louder plea.
So in the spirit of embracing simplicity, I’ll finish by wishing you a joyful holiday season filled with love, warmth, and the beauty of meaningful connection.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
