Embracing Hard – Why Choosing Your Hard is a Path to Authentic Living

Hello Friends,

As we step into the holiday season, a time that can stir many emotions, it’s only natural to pause and reflect. In a year that, for many reasons, has felt like an endurance test, you might find yourself, as I have, wondering, “When does it get easier?” Perhaps a subsequent thought nudges you, saying, “Things could be worst. Maybe I shouldn’t complain.”

Well, as Phil Stutz reminds us, “Give yourself grace and compassion to navigate things…there isn’t an easy road in life.”

The truth is, regardless of our circumstances, we can’t escape the fundamental reality that being human is hard. No matter the path we walk, amid life’s richness, we will encounter challenges and heartache. While this idea may initially feel disheartening, I’ve come to see it as liberating. It takes the pressure off the pursuit of an easy life. Obtaining the things that I desire, achieving the goals I set, won’t magically render life easy. So rather than make decisions based on what’s easier, I opt for choices that align with my values.

Have you ever heard the saying ‘choose your hard?’ While certain situations are beyond our control, like the circumstances of our birth, illnesses, or the loss of loved ones, when we do have a choice, do we lean towards what feels easier or what feels aligned? One may feel constrictive, the other, often expansive.

Consider a personal example – when I was feeling drawn to become a personal growth coach, the idea felt hard and intimidating! I had a thriving career as a cake designer with a well-established clientele that I deeply appreciated. I already knew the ins and outs of that world, had industry contacts, and reliable suppliers. In many ways it felt easier to stay where I was, comfortable and confident. Yet, choosing not to pursue this new path would have meant denying a significant part of myself for the sake of comfort. And that’s a different kind of hard; one I’m no longer willing to choose.

In daily life, choosing our hard might mean having the difficult conversation. Starting a dialogue about boundaries, ending a relationship, or sharing vulnerable feelings is undeniably hard. But you know what’s also hard? Not having that conversation. Suppressing our feelings and needs keeps us in a difficult place. It might mean risking the loss of a relationship or the failure of a venture we care about, but on the flip side, we risk losing ourselves. Though it can be challenging to work up the courage, in my experience, living this way comes with no regrets. The path may not always be lined with flowers and sunshine – it may involve walking away from things I hoped would work or people I loved, but it always means walking towards a life filled with endeavours and people I’m aligned with. It always means I’m willing to believe in myself.

Maybe all of this sounds good in theory, but how do we put it into practice? In the little moments. We start by building our self-esteem and following-through on commitments to ourselves. And that journey begins with a genuine exploration of who we are. Ready to delve into self-discovery, embracing all parts of yourself? It’s hard, but it’s the kind of hard that expands your world.

Since I don’t get to choose a life devoid of hard, I’ll choose the one that feels expansive and aligned. I’ll choose the path that honours my values. I invite you to do the same – trust me, it’s worth it!

With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina

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Embracing Less – Simplifying Through the Holiday Season

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Embracing My Whole Self – Navigating the Path to Wholehearted Living