Embracing Our Human Reality: Finding Strength in Life’s Inescapable Truths
Hello again – I’m so glad you’re here!
If you’ve been following along, you might ask, “Wait, don’t you often mention that multiple realities can coexist, shaped largely by our perceptions?” Absolutely, I do! However, some aspects of our human existence are inescapable, regardless of how we perceive them.
Today’s insights are inspired by a poignant quote from psychiatrist Phil Stutz in the documentary Stutz: “There are three aspects of reality: the pain will never go away; uncertainty will never go away; and there’s no getting away from the need for constant work. Everybody has to live like that, no matter what.”
This might initially sound somber, but here’s where our perception truly comes into play. Embracing these truths can actually alleviate much of our unnecessary suffering. Let’s delve into each one:
The Pain Will Never Go Away: As humans, we're destined to experience pain—be it from loss, rejection, or change. It's a part of life that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Yet, understanding how we can navigate this can profoundly change our relationship with it. We often don’t realize how our added narratives add layers of suffering on top of that pain. For instance, when a relationship ends, of course we’ll grieve the loss and what the relationship meant to us. But stories like "I must not be good enough" or "I'll never find love again," intensify this pain. These stories don’t make us bad – they were internalized somewhere in our past as a coping mechanism - but they aren’t inherently true. While we can't avoid life's inherent pain, we can learn to identify and let go of these self-inflicted stories that compound our suffering.
Uncertainty Is a Constant: We may logically understand that life is inherently uncertain, yet we often find ourselves seeking security in the known. Our minds, wired to predict and protect against potential threats, often embellish uncertainties with a negative bias. Uncertainty can feel uncomfortable, and sometimes just plain scary, so it makes sense that we try to feel safe by maintaining a sense of control. The truth is that we can never know what’s going to happen – and we don’t need to. By acknowledging our lack of control and developing faith in our ability to navigate the unknown, whatever the outcome, we free ourselves from the paralysis of uncertainty.
Continuous Effort Is Required: The idea of perpetual work might sound daunting, but we do have a choice in how we exert this effort. We can toil in misaligned circumstances—staying in unsatisfying jobs or relationships—or we can choose the fulfilling work of aligning our lives with our true selves. The former is exhausting because it conflicts with our true self. While the latter feels hard because it often means dismantling deep-seated beliefs in order to embrace a path that truly resonates, it also brings profound fulfillment and authenticity. The choice may not be easy, but it is yours to make.
Living with the expectation that life should feel easy, or that we should avoid difficult feelings, denies the fundamental nature of our humanity. We are built to experience the entire spectrum of human emotions, yet many of us have inadvertently learned to numb our discomfort. Instead of living on autopilot, resisting these fundamental truths, and wondering why we feel disconnected, let’s learn to work with them, enhancing our ability to flow with whatever comes our way.
All that we need is truly already within us, we just might need some help to rediscover it all. So, if you’re on this journey back to self with me, here are a few practices that have been pivotal along my own path:
Gratitude: Nothing will ever be enough if we can’t learn to appreciate what we already have. Cultivating an appreciation for what we have shifts the focus from what’s missing to what’s abundant.
Stop Comparing: Each comparison can erode our contentment. Remember, comparisons often overlook the full picture of what we’re evaluating. Embrace your unique journey.
Get Curious: Our feelings and reactions are opportunities for deeper understanding, not obstacles to be judged or avoided.
Slow Down: Allow yourself the space to reflect. Insight and intention flourish in stillness.
Self-Compassion: Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a dear friend. Self-compassion is fundamental to lasting transformation.
Remember, the tools for a more fulfilled life are within reach—they may just need rediscovering. If you ever feel overwhelmed by the complexities of life or if these truths seem too daunting to face alone, I’m here. You don’t have to navigate this journey by yourself. Together, we can uncover the strength and beauty in embracing our human reality.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
