Embracing Release – Letting Go is Hard, but Holding On is Harder
Hello and thank you for joining me today, Friends!
Let’s jump right in! So many of us focus on what we want more of—more time, more money, more love. It makes sense, especially when we consider the culture that we live in—a culture that constantly tells us that we need to aim for more and that there isn’t enough for everyone.
Even on a journey of personal growth, we can find ourselves focusing on all the things we want to be more of or better at—a better listener, a better communicator, more open, more compassionate. The pressure to improve can leave us feeling like we aren’t enough as we are. While adding more can feel empowering, there’s often an underrated power in releasing what no longer serves us.
A lot of my posts talk about embracing these very things. But an essential part of embracing them is letting go—releasing old habits, patterns, and beliefs that no longer serve us. Letting go or unlearning has been a very big part of my journey. To fully embrace new beliefs and tools, I first had to understand why I’d been holding onto old patterns in the first place. I wouldn’t have held onto them if they hadn’t, at some point, served me.
For instance, my perfectionist tendencies and high standards kept me emotionally safe in my family and throughout school. They were how I connected with my dad when I was young, how I won the praise of adults and teachers, and ultimately how I avoided the sting of rejection. Recognizing the benefits I’d once experienced helped me understand why I’d held on so tightly.
From there, I could see that while those beliefs and behaviours had helped me survive, they were now holding me back. They stopped me from showing up authentically, from trying new things if I feared I wouldn’t excel, and from forming deeper connections in my relationships. Seeing that the benefits of these patterns were coming with considerable costs—anxiety, self-doubt, and loneliness—helped me recognize that while letting go would be hard, holding on would be harder.
Releasing these patterns doesn’t happen overnight. It’s an unfolding process, and here are a few reflections I’ve found helpful along the way:
These patterns served us once: They were the best coping tools we knew how to implement at the time. They don’t make us “good” or “bad”; they simply reflect our need for safety. We can thank ourselves for doing our best with what we had.
Small steps lead to big change: It’s natural to want to let go in one big leap, but often it happens in small, gradual steps. Celebrate every time you notice yourself making a decision that differs from the old pattern. Each choice to try something in a new way is a victory worth acknowledging.
Check in with your “why”: Our core values act as a compass, helping us reorient when we feel lost. When you’re struggling to release a pattern, connect back to your deeper reasons—those guiding principles that light the way forward.
Surround yourself with support: Seek out people who support your goals and those who embody the values you cherish. Witnessing how others approach challenges can inspire you and remind you of what’s possible.
Releasing happens in layers: Sometimes, letting go occurs in layers. You may have already faced parts of a pattern, only to find there’s more to release. This can feel frustrating, but each layer you address brings you closer to freedom and helps deepen your understanding of who you are as you release that old programming.
Consider: is there a belief or pattern you’ve been holding onto that no longer serves your current self?
As we navigate the journey of letting go, it’s natural to feel both resistance and relief. Releasing old beliefs and behaviours opens space for new growth, deeper connections, and greater self-acceptance. Remember, letting go is hard, but holding on is harder.
Whatever it is you’re ready to release, know that you’re making space for beautiful and truer parts of yourself to enter. If you’d like support in your own journey to release old beliefs and patterns, I’m here to walk alongside you.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
