Embracing Curiosity – The Simple Key to Opening Up Our World
Hello Friends!
Let’s jump in!
Do you remember being a kid and wanting to know how or why…about everything? Or have you seen other kiddos display that inexhaustible curiosity?
Where does it go as we grow up?
Curiosity is probably my favourite tool when it comes to personal growth and mindfulness! It’s simple, and when used intentionally, so very effective!
I don’t know about you, but it feels like with each passing year, life moves faster and faster. Maybe that’s why we lose some of our curiosity. Perhaps in our attempts to be efficient with our time, we assume we know the answer to some things that in fact, we don’t. And in some cases, maybe we get a bit lazy. But I’ve found that when I can stay curious, I learn more about myself, I learn more about others, and I realize that most things aren’t as personal as they feel in the moment.
For example, when a friend or loved one says something that stings, especially if it seems to come from out of nowhere, I may initially think “that was so rude,” and maybe it was. But instead of spinning in my head about why they said it with stories that end up being projections, can I slow down, feel that sting, calm my nervous system and then ask them to explain what they mean? Perhaps I misread their intonation and assigned malintent, or perhaps something I said earlier was misunderstood. Either way, by embracing curiosity I can open up the conversation and find more clarity.
Curiosity is also useful when details are lacking. If, for instance, someone in my life seems a bit crusty (and hey, we all have those days), it’s so easy to assume it’s directed at me, especially if some of it is, in fact, being projected onto me. I don’t need to accept disrespectful behaviour, but I can ask “hey, what’s going on?” Now, that person may or may not be aware of what’s going on inside themselves, but at least I’ve created some space to listen before assuming the worst and either lashing out in return or shutting down and taking a hit to my self-esteem. Especially if it’s someone I know, love, and trust, why not start with a question? If I know my partner or loved one to be a generally kind, respectful, well-intentioned person, can I give them the benefit of the doubt that they haven’t suddenly transformed into a callous bully and ask them what’s behind those words or actions?
To use curiosity, we may need to lower our self-protective shield and when we can do that, we will often find that either the behaviour in question has very little to do with us, or it will create a bridge to talk about something that needs addressing. Asking these questions in place of escalating the situation with a knee-jerk reaction can help the other person slow down as well. Sometimes we don’t realize or know why we’ve acted a certain way, and having someone ask us, slows us down to self-reflect. You might get a curt “I don’t know” or “nothing” in return, but in my experience, that’s still better than adding fuel to the fire.
Curiosity…such a simple tool that helps us slow down and create more potential for connection. Give it a try and you may be surprised as just how much of an impact it can make!
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
