Embracing Evolution – Navigating the Beauty and Grief of Personal Growth
Hello Friends!
We’ve all been through so much in the last few years and it has me thinking about personal evolution.
Ask yourself - are you the same person you were as a teenager, a decade ago, or even three years back? Every experience, whether good or bad, shapes us. The essential question then is: Does this change bring us closer to our true selves, or does it pull us further away?
Each decision either strengthens existing neural pathways or helps forge new ones. So, we might want to consider which pathways we wish to reinforce. For instance, as someone who used to, and still occasionally struggles with people-pleasing, I would often habitually say yes without considering my capacity – both in terms of time and energy. This often led to feelings of resentment, frustration and burnout. Learning new tools for this allows me to see each request as an opportunity to make intentional decisions, versus habitual ones. I certainly haven’t caught every opportunity along the way, but as I’ve practiced noticing them, I get the chance to choose based on what will bring me closer to living in alignment with my core values, rather than reverting to old patterns that reinforce narratives like, “I’m only valuable when I do things for other people.”
Both paths are challenging: remaining stuck in familiar patterns can feel safe yet unfulfilling, whereas creating new patterns, although more aligned with our true selves, requires concerted effort. Our evolution towards a truer version of ourselves unfolds in these micro-moments of choice.
As we evolve, so too do our interactions with the world. For example, learning to establish and maintain healthier boundaries alters not only our lives but also challenges those around us to accept the evolving versions of ourselves. The fear of losing someone can be discouraging, and our ego may use this fear to keep us stagnant. Yet, compromising our growth to keep someone in our lives means abandoning ourselves for the sake of others, which reinforces a narrative that someone else’s love is more valuable than our own self-worth.
Growth inherently involves loss. While it’s exhilarating to step into a role that truly resonates with our values, like my transition into personal growth coaching, it also involves grieving the relationships and experiences we leave behind. This grief isn’t an indicator that we’ve made a mistake, but a natural response to shedding aspects of our lives that no longer align with our path.
The adjustment period can be just as challenging for those close to us, as they learn to relate to the person we have become. It's a delicate dance we perform with everyone in our lives, constantly adjusting to and even grieving each other's growth or regression. Not everyone will journey with us; not everyone is ready for or interested in the growth we've embraced. This realization isn't about making anyone good or bad – it simply makes space for new relationships that resonate with who we are now.
Feeling sadness, disappointment, frustration, or fear in the face of these changes is natural – we are complex beings capable of experiencing a range of emotions about our circumstances. Can we allow ourselves to grow and expand, accepting all the iterations of ourselves we encounter along the way? In embracing our evolution, we find the courage to let go and the strength to welcome new beginnings with open hearts.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
