Embracing the Learning Curve – Allowing Ourselves to Suck at Something New Can Make All the Difference
Welcome back, Friends!
Ever look at someone and think, “Wow, they are so gifted! I wish I could do that!”?
Yeah, me too! Whether it’s the awe-inspiring talents of vendors in the event industry I came to know, a friend’s culinary skills, or even how natural other coaches seem to be on social media, there’s no shortage of people I admire! While their skills can inspire, they can also intimidate, especially if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, who has often hesitated to try new things.
Now, let me ask you another question: How long do you think these people have been honing the skills you admire? It’s easy to assume they’re naturally proficient, but regardless of talent, practice plays a pivotal role. For most of us, developing skills is less about innate ability and more about giving ourselves permission to suck at something and the time to improve.
It's thrilling, yet daunting, to embark on learning something new, especially when we allow ourselves to be beginners without the pressure to immediately excel. Some of us grew up believing that skills and talents are fixed—if you're not born with it, you can't develop it. This fixed mindset can hold us back from exploring new hobbies or learning from our mistakes. However, adopting a growth mindset—the belief that effort and time can enhance our abilities—can transform our approach to life's challenges. Psychologist Carol Dweck's work on these mindsets shows us that embracing our potential to learn and grow can profoundly impact our lives. Let’s not forget what Michael Jordan himself has said about mistakes: “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
A fixed mindset is often an adaptive response developed in childhood to avoid the shame associated with failure. If the adults in our lives viewed failure negatively or believed talents were fixed traits, we likely adopted similar views. Research highlights the profound impact of mindset on performance. For example, while girls tend to outperform boys in math during elementary and middle school, this trend often reverses by the time they reach college. And when girls are told that boys are naturally better at math, their performance on standardized tests can actually decline. This isn’t a reflection of innate ability, but rather the power of the narratives we internalize and the environments these stories create.
To nurture a growth mindset, we must cultivate a culture that makes it safe to fail. Here’s how we can start:
Challenge Your Thoughts: Recognize and question any fixed mindset patterns that suggest you can't learn or change.
Minimize Comparison: Focus on your journey and progress rather than comparing yourself to others.
Notice the Positive: Engage in positive self-talk, which has been shown to boost performance, reduce anxiety, and enhance confidence in athletes.
Embrace Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness rather than criticism when you face setbacks.
Rewire Your Idea of Failure: View setbacks as essential feedback, not as reflections of your abilities.
Value Effort: Always look for learning opportunities in every endeavour, no matter the outcome.
Persistence: Challenges are an integral part of the growth process, not reasons to give up.
Seek Constructive Feedback: Encourage feedback that is aimed at improvement, not criticism.
Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People: Build relationships with those who support and inspire your development.
Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate every small step forward as a victory in its own right.
Remember, failure is how we learn what we need to adjust to improve our skills along the way to success. It’s all part of the learning process. What have you been wanting to learn but haven’t yet given yourself the chance to be bad at?
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
