Embracing Good Enough: Sometimes the Perfect Solution Isn’t the Right One
Thank you for joining me today! Have you ever wondered…
What is “good enough,” and who defines it?
The power to decide rests within each of us.
In a world that profits from our endless pursuit of perfection, as we continue to pay the emotional toll, can we learn to embrace “good enough” from both ourselves and others?
Is anyone else here exhausted from the relentless pressure to appear flawless, achieve the most, and excel in as many arenas as possible? Where did this unattainable idea of perfection come from?
The answer to that second question may vary for all of us, but there are often two big contributors: a capitalist agenda and the innate desire for acceptance. I won’t dive too deeply into those in this post, but it’s important to briefly acknowledge them. Our capitalist culture thrives on competitiveness, urging us to buy more and be more to attain a fleeting sense of “success.” At the same time, feeling accepted helps us feel safe and secure, nudging us onto that relentless hamster wheel. We’ve been bombarded with these messages and feelings since birth.
But here’s the liberating truth: we get to decide what success means for ourselves. Maybe for you it’s a life not tied to a property so you can travel and explore the world! For me, it includes a calm nervous system and living in alignment with my core values.
Have you heard of the terms “maximizer” and “satisficer?” Coined by psychologist Herbert A. Simon in his book “Models of Man,” these terms describe distinct decision-making styles. Maximizers seek to make the best possible decision by evaluating all available options and striving for the optimal outcome, even if it requires extensive time and effort. Satisficers, on the other hand, aim to make a decision that is “good enough” and meets their criteria, without necessarily exhaustively examining every available option. Adam Grant expanded on this concept, highlighting that maximizers can become trapped in a cycle of anxiety and second guessing, as they worry about making the wrong choice or missing out on better alternatives. In contrast, satisficers prioritize simplicity and are generally more content with their choices. I’m not saying that one is better than the other as both approaches have merit – the key lies in striking a balance between them.
As a recovering perfectionist, I spent years as a maximizer in various aspects of my life. And an ever-increasing number of choices only fueled my exhaustion. Seeking out the best possible outcome often led to anxiety and decision-making paralysis. I’d solicit numerous opinions, leaving me feeling even more lost than when I started. And too often my choices ended up being based around the preferences of others versus my own, and with results I didn’t want.
How did I transform this pattern? Building self-trust through the self-esteem and self-validation strategies we’ve previously discussed played a pivotal role. As I learned to value my own opinion just as much as others’, and learned to trust my ability to handle the consequences of my choices, I discerned when to adopt a ‘good enough’ approach. I recognized that most situations lack a perfect solution, and since everyone’s idea of ‘perfect’ is different, seeking external opinions only heightened confusion. Appreciating what my time and energy are worth empowered me to set boundaries around how much of them I wanted to spend on any given situation.
Equally crucial was understanding the underlying motives for why I was in search of the best possible solution. Identifying the stories I’d woven around the consequences of not finding perfection – often linked to fears of inadequacy in the eyes of others – enabled me to offer compassion to those aspects of myself. It emboldened me to step beyond my comfort zone to choose differently. This liberation from the pursuit of unattainable perfection has freed up so much energy and head space, which I can now use for play, connection, and rest. It can feel unsettling at times, but I’m committed to rewriting these narratives, embracing courage, and presenting my ‘good enough’ self to the world. I hope you’ll join me.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
