Embracing the Art of Receiving: It’s More Than Just Giving That Fosters Connection

Back for more? I'm thrilled to have you here as we continue our ongoing conversation about personal growth.

Let me ask you, are you often the first to lend a hand, giving your time, energy, and body to support those around you?

Me too!

I do it because I find genuine fulfillment in offering help and nurturing connections. Along my journey, I’ve worked on listening to my inner voice and understanding my limits so that I ensure my gestures are heartfelt and I don’t cross into resentment if the offer is accepted (I’m a work in progress too). But here’s the twist – are you able to receive the same in return?

Oooh…that’s where it can feel a bit more challenging, can’t it? Especially in a culture that often emphasizes self-reliance to a fault, sometimes overshadowing the value of community. The discomfort of inconveniencing others, the worry of appearing incapable, the desire to avoid being labeled as “needy” – no wonder we hesitate. The thing is, we’re human beings – we’re social animals who thrive by being part of a community. And true connection isn’t solely forged through giving; it also blooms when we allow ourselves to receive. Opening ourselves up to receive, to depend on others, can feel vulnerable…especially when many of us have been let down by people we care about. So to protect ourselves from the sting of disappointment, we learn not to count on others. But this self-imposed barrier also shields us from forming authentic connections.

I’m not just talking about accepting help when we’re moving, or headed to the airport either. Receiving from those who genuinely care for us can come in the form of a meal, a compassionate ear, or a comforting presence.

This concept of receiving is important when it comes to reconciliation as well. Conflict is an undeniable facet of our relationships. What’s often overlooked however, is the art of mending these bonds after the storm – the art of repair. I’ll explore the intricacies of the repair process in more detail another time, but for now, a simplified version. When someone dear to us is genuinely remorseful and seeks to make amends, can we open ourselves up to receive their efforts? I’d like to emphasize that I’m not referring to situations of abuse or a repetitive cycle without any meaningful change. When there’s a misunderstanding, when feelings are hurt, if a friend or partner extends a sincere apology can we find it within us to gracefully accept it? If the wound is still tender, there’s no rush. We can express our gratitude for their willingness to heal and let them know our shared intention to repair, even if we might not be entirely ready at that moment.

Inevitably, there will be moments when people let us down…when they fall short of our expectations. And it’s valid to feel the hurt and disappointment that may arise. In those moments it’s easy and tempting to want to armour up, say “never again,” and assume the worst about the other person. While we want people to understand the circumstances that led to our falter, in an attempt to self-protect, we can hastily make a character judgement when the shoe is on the other foot. We attribute a misstep to selfishness, for example, rather than considering the unforeseen circumstances that may have influenced their actions.

I understand the vulnerability that comes with receiving – it opens us up to the possibility of being hurt. But if we don’t allow ourselves to receive, we deny both ourselves and others the chance for a genuine connection. So, let’s start small, with someone safe, and try to open up just a little bit more.

With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina