Embracing Grief: Navigating Life's Inevitable Transitions
Welcome back, Lovely Souls,
Have you ever noticed how some changes, even the ones we want, can feel surprisingly painful?
While we often associate grief with obvious losses, such as the death of a loved one or the end of a significant relationship, it can also accompany the smaller, yet significant, transitions in our lives—like changes in our jobs, aging, or even the process of personal growth.
We might try to push away grief or belittle our feelings, telling ourselves it’s not that serious, or our inner critic might shame us into thinking we shouldn’t feel this way. These reactions are understandable; grief can feel overwhelming, and naturally, who wants to feel that discomfort? Yet, when we don't allow ourselves to fully experience and process grief, it can get stuck in our bodies, leading to patterns of behaviour that are meant to be protective but can actually stand in our way, or even physical symptoms such as lowered immunity and inflammation.
Change means saying goodbye to a familiar part of our lives—not just to a place or a person but to a part of ourselves and how we interact with the world, which can be challenging even when the new chapter is promising. For instance, aging might mean letting go of certain physical activities we once enjoyed, or personal growth might involve shedding old habits that once served us well but no longer do. Without acknowledging this as a normal part of transitions, these changes can feel confusing and overwhelming. We may even question if we should continue.
In my own journey, as I navigated being a perfectionist known for high standards and meticulous attention to detail—traits that won praise from my parents and success in school and as a cake designer—I had to confront the negative impacts these traits had on my personal relationships. Even though I understood the need to change, releasing these long-held behaviours was inherently painful. This is where embracing a "both/and" approach has been instrumental, allowing me to honour my past while welcoming new, healthier ways of engaging with the world.
The path to new beginnings often involves stepping into the unknown, which can feel daunting and vulnerable. We’re learning to do things in a new way, and learning anything new takes time and self-compassion. So, whether your transition is going back to work or school, a change in relationships, or a change in yourself, here are a few tips to help manage the transition:
Make Space for Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without judgment. Recognize that grieving is a part of the transition process.
Take Care of Your Body: Engage in activities that nourish and rejuvenate your body, like gentle exercise, adequate sleep, and nutritious foods, to support yourself through emotional upheavals.
Take Care of Your Mind: Practice mindfulness or meditation to manage stress, regulate your nervous system, and maintain mental health during times of change.
Surround Yourself with Support: Lean on friends, family, or support groups who can provide empathy and understanding as you navigate your feelings.
Maintain Some Routine: Keeping some aspects of your daily routine intact can help anchor you during times of change, providing a sense of normalcy and control.
Remember, it's okay to grieve the parts of our life that are changing. Grieving the old to welcome the new is not a sign of weakness, nor does it indicate a poor decision. Instead, it’s reflective of the deep engagement we have with life’s complexities, and a step towards embracing a new chapter with a clearer, more resilient spirit. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these transitions, and remember that it's okay to grieve as you step into new chapters of your life.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
