Embracing Imperfection – Finding Freedom and Empowerment Beyond Perfection

Hey Friends!

Let me ask you, do you ever find yourself in the relentless pursuit of ‘better’?
Have you ever grappled with the fine line between striving for excellence and sinking into the quicksand of discontent?

I’ve been there, too! I wore my “perfectionist” badge with honour, equating it with high standards and unwavering commitment. But diving deeper into personal growth, I realized what I thought was a superpower, had become more of a kryptonite than anything else. Instead of celebrating my efforts, I found myself stuck in a cycle of self-criticism for not reaching some elusive pinnacle of achievement, for not doing and being everything for everyone. I struggled to let myself rest…to accept any perceived imperfections…and I had slowly started to project those expectations onto others. Does any of this sound familiar?

How can striving to do our best get so twisted? Well, for me, it turns out this quest for perfection often wasn’t even about my own standards but was me trying to match up to what I thought others expected of me. It was a never-ending game of guessing and second-guessing, leaving me feeling deflated and exhausted. Since everyone’s idea of perfect is different, chasing “perfection” is a flawed concept to begin with, and yet, I still subconsciously told myself this is the life of a high-achiever.

Guess what? Turns out striving for perfection isn’t the hallmark of a high-achiever; it’s more often a response to deeper, unresolved issues and it’s becoming all too common.

The seed of perfectionism often takes root early, veiled as a strategy for survival and acceptance. We’re biologically wired to seek approval from our caregivers so we instinctively try to decipher the behaviours and qualities that are favoured. This primal need for approval can set the stage for a lifetime of approval-seeking behaviour unless we consciously intervene and learn self-approval. The sting of social rejection is not just in our heads; it manifests with a physicality that underscores the primal fear of not fitting. No wonder we work so hard to avoid it - the discomfort that comes from showing up “imperfectly” in the world isn’t just mental, it’s also visceral.

Here’s the paradox: the safety net we weave with our perfectionism often ensnares us, doing more to dim our light than protect us. It cages us in a life shaped by perceived acceptability, steering us away from living authentically and in alignment with our true values. The choices we make when living this way often reflect not our own desires, but rather the fears and expectations imposed upon us by others.

Perfectionism can also stunt our growth. If we never allow ourselves to be beginners, to be imperfect, we miss out on opportunities to learn and evolve. And how much joy do we forfeit if we’re too preoccupied with a perfect result or maintaining a flawless façade?

My pathway out of the perfectionism labyrinth began with mindfulness – acknowledging the physical sensations and mental narratives that accompanied my perfectionist tendencies. This awareness was the first step towards implementing self-regulation so I could offer myself compassion and embrace the empowering idea of “good enough.”

Embracing imperfection isn’t about lowering our standards, but realigning them with what truly matters. As Brené Brown sums it up, “Healthy striving is self-focused. Perfectionism is other-focused.” If this journey speaks to you, or you’re curious to take the first step, I’m here to walk alongside you.

Together, let’s celebrate our perfectly imperfect selves, and in doing so, light the way for others to do the same.

With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina