Embracing Our Inner Leader – Shaping Futures by Being the Adult We Needed

Thank you for joining me today, Friends!

I’ve been spending time with the kids in my life and that often gets me thinking about what they might be learning from my actions. For those parenting, I imagine that thought is like a constant background track. But even for those of us without our own mini-mes, we’ve got plenty of opportunities to show younger ones around us what we’ve learned about navigating life when we lead by example.

Remember being a kid? With parents telling us what to do…how they wanted us to behave? If we were lucky, they may have explained why. And despite good intentions, too few of us grew up with adults who were able to model how to healthily navigate our feelings and relationships. Considering that mindfulness wasn’t really on the radar until more recently, it makes sense. But now that we know more, can we share what we’re learning with younger generations?

Think back to being a kid or teen. What made a bigger impact? Being told what we ‘should’ do by someone who didn’t walk their talk, or getting advice from someone who lived it? Whether it’s at home or out in the world, like John C. Maxwell says, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” It's much more impactful to model the behaviours and values we believe in, than to simply spout on about them to others - especially when it comes to kids.

And let’s not forget the power of modeling these behaviours for our own inner child – the part of us that holds our earliest memories, hopes, and fears, still living within us, craving acknowledgement and care. No matter how great our parents were, none of us leave childhood without some emotional scrapes. That’s life - part of the human experience. But now, as adults, we get this amazing chance to give our inner child what they really needed, whether that be more emotional attunement, compassion, or a safe space to be themselves.

By being kind to ourselves, we’re healing from the inside out, letting go of old hurts, habits, and stories that don’t serve us anymore. And when we show the kiddos in our lives how it’s done, we’re helping raise a generation who knows how to care for themselves and are less likely to project their pains and struggles onto others.

One thing I wish I’d known way back when is how to tune into my body. The adults in my life didn’t know how to do this, so I was out of luck there. Instead, I grew up all in my head, missing out on what my body was trying to tell me. Because I was missing bodily cues, I didn’t know how to navigate big emotions. I quickly jumped from feeling sensations in my body (a lump in my throat, tightness in my chest, fluttering in my stomach) to finding some way to shut them down because they felt uncomfortable. I didn’t have the tools to create space for them and get curious about what those feelings were trying to show me. So next time we have a rush of emotion, let’s pause and ask ourselves: What is my body trying to tell me? We can share this process with a child by saying, “I’m feeling a bit upset right now, and I noticed my stomach feels tight. I think it’s because I’m worried about something. Let’s take a few deep breaths together.” This shows them how to recognize and respond to their emotions healthily.

These patterns also led me to quiet my own voice. I overvalued the opinions of others and devalued my own. It wasn’t until I started my personal growth journey when I began to relearn the sound of my own voice…to distinguish it from all the other chatter in my head.

I had great parents growing up…they did the best they could; they just didn’t know about these things. Now that I do, I’ll continue to work to be the adult my younger self needed and to be that example for all the young ones in my life. The difference one person can make in a child’s life is immeasurable.

How can we start modeling these behaviours? By integrating mindfulness in our daily routines – whether it’s taking deep breaths before responding in a stressful situation, expressing gratitude or simply engaging in an activity that brings us joy. When we share these moments with the children in our lives, explaining why we’re doing them and how they help us feel, these small, daily acts build the foundation for a life lived with intention and compassion.

So, for all the children in your life, including that inner child of yours, consider not just what you say, but also how you show up! If you’re curious to explore how you can further embody these principles, reach out – I’m here to chat!

With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina