Embracing Our Ego – Dissolving Illusions to Liberate Our True Self
Hello and welcome, Lovely Souls!
Ah the ego – a topic of endless discussion and often the source of so much inner conflict. Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity, driven by the relentless voice of your ego? We all have one, and no matter how much personal growth we undertake, it remains a steadfast companion. So, it’s not a matter of asking if we have an ego, but rather, what is our relationship with our ego?
Simply put, our ego is our sense of self formed by our perceptions of interactions with the external world. As we move through life, our experiences and societal influences shape this construct. Our ego isn’t inherently bad - in fact, it works hard to try to keep us safe. But oh, the problems that arise when we let it take the wheel!
When we overly attach to the collection of ideas about who we are, our egoic identity, we give our ego too much power. For instance, intense identification with a political party prompts our ego to leap to defence at the slightest critique, perceiving it as an assault on our very being. We will exhibit this behaviour with any aspect of our identity that we strongly identify with – whether it’s our roles as parents, professionals, or community members, or our personal characteristics such as our intelligence, appearance, or talents. Any feelings of superiority or inferiority are a result of our ego, seen in attempts to defend, prove, or acquire. This egoic identity has also been called our “false self.”
In contrast, our true self embodies the essence of our being; it is the “core of our being, unswayed by external validations or material acquisitions. It is the silent observer, the eternal essence, that emanates peace and contentment.” Tuning into our true self enables us to align with our core values, fostering authentic living.
So, how do we differentiate between our egoic and true selves? That was a big piece in my journey, and is what inspired the name “Journey Back to Self” – the journey of releasing the narratives embodied by our false self to embrace the voice of our true self. When I first began my journey, the voice I heard within tended to be anxious, fearful, and cyclical, incessantly striving to justify my existence and reaffirm my identity, mostly through external labels and validations.
As I came to learn, letting my ego call the shots perpetuated damaging patterns:
It wanted to keep me exactly where I was in an attempt to have some control, which it mistakes for security, hindering personal growth.
It prioritized external opinions over self-trust, leading me down paths that weren’t mine.
In a constant search to affirm itself and justify my place in the world, I tended to move through the world defensively.
I often struggled to accept what was happening, getting stuck in thoughts of how things ‘should’ be.
Living this way felt heavy and draining, and made relationships very challenging.
While my ego tried to keep me safe and bolster the “good” parts of myself, its methods compelled me to hide the parts it had learned were “bad” or unacceptable, reinforcing these patterns.
But within these challenges, there’s also great opportunity for growth and transformation. Maybe surprisingly, the answer isn’t to fight or deny our ego’s existence, but rather to embrace it alongside all the parts it has pushed us to hide. As we work to observe and understand the protective narratives woven by our ego, we can begin to hold them with compassion, unravelling their hold on us to rediscover our true selves. This journey may not be easy, but it is undoubtedly rewarding. It’s a path of self-discovery, of learning to trust ourselves, and of finding peace amidst the chaos of the ego’s chatter.
In the words of Eckhart Tolle, "You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge."
As we navigate this journey, let’s support and uplift one another as we strive to embrace our true selves and live authentically.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
