Embracing Quirks – Honouring the Uniqueness in Each of Us
Hello again, Lovely Souls!
Have you ever noticed someone struggle with something and thought, “I don’t get what the big deal is”? Or perhaps when you’ve noticed a quirk, thought, “It’d be so much easier if they just did it like this?”
It’s tempting, especially when something feels easy or natural for us, to wonder why it isn’t for someone else. But what if we slowed down and considered that there’s likely a history, a set of circumstances surrounding that person’s hesitations or struggles? Perhaps if we were in their shoes, we’d struggle too.
For example, some people love to dance and do so in public without a second thought, wondering why someone else might hold back. But what if, for that person, dancing is tied to memories of embarrassment or rejection? Can we pause and reflect on something we might struggle with – something that triggers discomfort or insecurity in us – and use that to cultivate compassion instead of judgment? After all, how would it feel if someone pointed out one of our differences and framed it as a flaw? Something to be fixed?
Just because someone does things differently, doesn’t make those differences bad. Our quirks are what make us unique, and our way isn’t necessarily the “right” or “better” way. It’s simply our way – the one we’re comfortable with.
In our relationships, especially with those we care about, this can feel particularly tricky. Naturally, we don’t want to see someone we love struggle. So, when we’ve found a way that works for us, we might project that onto others, believing it could make their life easier or more enjoyable. But the truth is, what works for us may not work for them. For reasons we might not fully understand, our approach could even make things harder for them. So, can we let our differences coexist without labeling anyone as wrong or flawed?
When we loosen our grip on the idea that people would be happier if they did things our way, we create more space for others to feel loved and accepted for who they are, right where they are on their journey. The goal for each of us isn’t to become more like someone else; it’s to become more in tune with who we are on a soul level. And that’s going to look different for everyone.
If you notice any of these thoughts or patterns in yourself, it doesn’t make you bad. And if you’re ready to approach differences and quirks with more grace and acceptance, here are a few reminders I find helpful:
Wanting people to do things my way is often less about them and more about me. – It’s a false belief that my life would feel easier if they just saw things and did things my way. The truth is, life feels easier when I release the need to control things outside of myself.
We’re not all supposed to be the same. – How boring would the world be if we all thought, acted, and lived the same way? There would be no innovation, no growth, no new experiences. Our uniqueness is what adds richness to our collective experience.
The discomfort I feel around someone’s differences is fertile ground for self-reflection. – When I feel resistance to someone’s quirks, it’s an opportunity to explore the resistance within myself. What about their differences is triggering me? What can I learn from this reaction?
Celebrating differences opens doors to new perspectives. – When we approach differences with curiosity rather than judgment, we expand our worldview and allow ourselves to grow in unexpected ways.
Compassion is a choice that creates connection. – Instead of trying to change someone, can I offer them the compassion I’d want for myself? When we understand that everyone’s quirks make sense given their history, we foster deeper connections.
Differences can feel uncomfortable at times, but I wouldn’t want someone to label my quirks as “bad” just because they don’t understand them. Most often, when we slow down and listen, we realize that people’s quirks make perfect sense in the context of their stories. And since we may not always have the opportunity to get the full story, can we give others the benefit of the doubt? Just as our quirks are rooted in our unique experiences, so too are theirs.
Imagine what a beautiful world we’ll create as we choose compassion and honour our differences.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
