Embracing Surrender: Why Resistance Can Be Futile

Hello again, Friends!

I hope you had a great weekend, and if not, remember that you’ve got a supportive community right here.

I ended up having a rough couple of days, and when I slowed myself down to explore what was going on, I realized I was stuck in thoughts of wishing things were different. Do you ever find yourself in that spot? Maybe you wish someone you work with was easier to deal with, or your home renovation would go more quickly, or you had a fast-forward button for the current season of life you’re in? Ever get stuck hoping things would magically morph into what we think they ‘should’ be?

We all have a good grasp on what we think could make us happy, right? But here’s the twist – often, our idea of happiness is just a remix of the same old stuff. What I mean is, our comfort zone has this magnetic pull, and we often find ourselves longing for the familiar, even if it’s not all that good. We tend to choose a familiar pain or discomfort over taking a chance on an unfamiliar source of joy. So, what if, and hear me out, what if the things that don’t seem to be going ‘right’ in our lives are not mere annoyances? What if they’re here to teach us, to nudge us, to set us up for something even greater than we can imagine?

Perhaps these glitches are here to redirect us. Perhaps they’re asking us to learn something before we can receive what we desire, or perhaps life has something even better in store for us. I know it can be maddening (I’ve been there too), but sometimes we need these lessons, nudges and set-ups before we’re ready for our deepest desires.

Sometimes we can get caught in magnifying the significance of the moment…these hiccups can steal the spotlight, blinding us to the bigger picture. But what if we were to zoom out and look at the big picture - maybe we’ll see that we don’t know what these hiccups will lead to…and they could lead to something we haven’t even dreamt of yet.

In order to zoom out, however, we need to release some control. And let’s be honest, us humans love control. It’s like our safety blanket against the wild ride of life. Speaking from my own journey with anxiety, I know I used to hold onto control as a lifeline. But truth is, life’s got its own idea, and there’s not much we can do to change it. That can be a daunting realization – how can we stay safe if so much is out of our hands?

So how did I cope with that realization? I learned that while I can’t control life’s twists and turns, I can control my responses to them. I learned that if I can trust that I will be able to handle whatever comes my way, I can start to loosen my grip a bit. I can start to surrender.

Now, ‘surrender’ used to sound like defeat in my mind. But I’ve come to find it’s more like a shift in perspective. It’s not about giving up; it’s about releasing the struggle against the current of reality. It’s about accepting ‘what is.’ In that acceptance, I give myself room to feel, to process, and then to decide how I want to respond – how to make the best of it and move forward. Instead of locking horns with life, trying to wrestle it into submission and bend it to my will, I can work with its flow. Yes, life has it’s share of pain – the sting of failure, the agony of loss. But when we stop resisting the pain, we eliminate an extra layer of suffering that comes from our own resistance. Surrender isn’t a relinquishing of power; it’s a reclaiming of it.

But surrender needs a sidekick – trust. Trust in ourselves, and maybe something bigger too. It could be a universal design, a higher power, or simply the knowledge that we’re all connected. Whatever you believe in, that’s your choice, and I respect it. Pairing self-trust with faith can allow us to welcome each new day with open arms and an open heart.

Remember, rewiring these thought patterns takes practice. Keep following along for more tools for your journey. For now, I’m going to leave you with one my favourite parables below:

There once was an old Zen farmer. Every day, the farmer used his horse to help work his fields and keep his farm healthy.
But one day, the horse ran away. All the villagers came by and said, “We're so sorry to hear this. This is such bad luck.”
But the farmer responded, “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?”
The villagers were confused, but decided to ignore him. A few weeks went by and then one afternoon, while the farmer was working outside, he looked up and saw his horse running toward him. But the horse was not alone. The horse was returning to him with a whole herd of horses. So now the farmer had 10 horses to help work his fields.
All the villagers came by to congratulate the farmer and said, “Wow! This is such good luck!”
But the farmer responded, “Good luck. Bad luck. Who knows?
A few weeks later, the farmer's son came over to visit and help his father work on the farm. While trying to tame one of the horses, the farmer’s son fell and broke his leg.
The villagers came by to commiserate and said, “How awful. This is such bad luck.”
Just as he did the first time, the farmer responded, “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?”
A month later, the farmer’s son was still recovering. He wasn’t able to walk or do any manual labor to help his father around the farm.
A regiment of the army came marching through town conscripting every able-bodied young man to join them. When the regiment came to the farmer’s house and saw the young boy's broken leg, they marched past and left him where he lay.
Of course, all the villagers came by and said, “Amazing! This is such good luck. You're so fortunate.”
And you know the farmer’s response by now…
"Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?"

With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina