Embracing Friendship’s Seasons - Honouring Ebbs, Flows, and Growth
Hello and welcome back, Friends!
Friendship…what does it mean to you?
For many of us, friendships are among the most meaningful relationships we have. And research shows that having a supportive network of friends can improve our well-being and quality of life, contributing to overall happiness and resilience.
With connection being a core value of mine, friendship is central to my well-being. At times, though, friendships have also been an area for significant personal growth.
Not everyone expresses love or connection the same way I do.
Not everyone places the same priority on friendship or connection.
And I’ve learned that’s okay. These truths were hard for me to accept, but the most important thing I learned within these truths was this: someone else’s way of showing up (or not showing up) is not a reflection of my worth.
Earlier in my journey, if a friend said they’d call and didn’t follow through within 24 hours or canceled plans last minute, I would feel annoyed. Beneath that annoyance was a more vulnerable feeling—abandonment. “What are they doing that’s more important?” This belief pattern had deep roots in my childhood, where an important adult wasn’t able to consistently show up for me. Without guidance on how to process those feelings, I internalized them, adopting the narrative that if someone didn’t show up, it meant I wasn’t worthy… I wasn’t enough.
But life has shown me that’s not always the case. I’ve missed things in my friends’ lives, not because they weren’t important, but because life sometimes pulls us in other directions. Whether a friend is going through a difficult season, connection isn’t one of their core values, or our paths are simply diverging, understanding the narratives we attach to these situations helps reframe that initial sting of rejection. We begin to see these moments with compassion—for ourselves and for others.
Friendships can ebb and flow, and the beauty is that we can create space for both our truths to coexist. We can’t control what others think, do or feel, but we can take responsibility by staying aligned with our values and communicate honestly about what works for us and what doesn’t. That doesn’t mean we need to be harsh or rigid. We get to choose how much grace we give to people in different seasons, and how we navigate those times. Sometimes these moments are just exceptions, and other times, they’re patterns. Maybe we decide to allow some space while keeping the door open. Maybe we have an honest and respectful conversation, accepting that the other person may not fully receive it. Or, maybe it’s time to step back from a friendship while cherishing the lessons and memories it gave us.
The saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime,” speaks to this, but that doesn’t mean changes in friendship are easy to navigate. Here are some reminders I find helpful when friendships shift:
It’s okay to grieve changes: We sometimes forget that it’s not only romantic relationships that we grieve; friendships hold so much meaning too.
Your worth isn’t determined by a friendship’s status: Even if our patterns have contributed to changes, that doesn’t define our inherent value.
Give the season some grace: Sometimes, friendships are just going through a season. Consider how much grace you want to allow, knowing you’d likely hope for the same in return.
You can walk away with kindness: If it’s time to part ways, do so in alignment with your values. Show up as the person you want to be, even if it means letting go.
Express what’s true for you: Sharing our needs and feelings is essential, even as they evolve over time. Boundaries may shift along our journey, and it’s okay to communicate that, even if others struggle to understand.
The ebbs and flows of friendship offer us a mirror for personal growth. Learning to navigate these changes with compassion helps us honour both ourselves and the friends who have been a part of our journey. Life may carry us in different directions, but every friendship leaves us with gifts—whether they’re still beside us or have moved on. Each connection, each season, adds meaning to our lives in unique ways.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
