Embracing Perspective – Creating Space Around Life’s Twists and Turns
Hi there! I’m so glad you’re here today.
I don’t know about you, but the last few weeks have felt like that’ve come with more twists and turns than I’d typically like to navigate. Some have felt bigger, some smaller, but together, they just felt like too much.
With each unexpected shift, I found myself getting a bit more caught in thoughts of, Why? What now? It all started to feel personal, like life was happening to me rather than simply unfolding. I realized I needed to make more space for my emotional experience, to support my nervous system, and to explore the stories coming up for me.
And then, as luck would have it, I came across a beautiful reminder—a quote from Ram Dass:
"Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor in it."
The stories I had been noticing were definitely ones that placed me as the actor—deep in the plot, reacting to every twist and turn. This quote reminded me to create space around those stories—stories about my worth, my progress, and the imagined timeline of my life.
This might sound clear-cut when I write about it, but trust me, the process has felt anything but. There have been moments when I thought I was releasing old narratives and expectations, only to be hit with another twist that sent me spiraling back into doubt. It felt like a game of Snakes and Ladders—just when I thought I was moving forward, I’d land on a snake and slide back down.
But then I remembered: this year is the Year of the Snake—fitting, as I’m half-Asian (if my last name didn’t already give that away). Snakes are all about shedding layers. And Ram Dass’s quote helped me see that these twists and turns aren’t setbacks—they’re invitations to let go of more.
None of it is personal, even though it feels personal.
Recently, I had an opportunity to speak at an event I was really looking forward to, but it got put on hold, and then canceled. I felt so disheartened. The disappointment showed up as a heaviness in my chest and a tightness in my throat. My thoughts raced: “Ugh, what am I going to do now? This was supposed to be a big opportunity. Am I ever going to get where I want to go?”
The cancellation wasn’t about me, but my reaction certainly was. When I created space for those feelings, I was able to notice what was underneath them.
Beneath my disappointment was a fear about how long it would take to reach certain goals.
Beneath that was a fear about financial stability.
Beneath that was a fear for my overall well-being and safety.
Noticing these fears allowed me to hold compassion for the part of me that felt scared. And when I could do that, I was able to open up space for possibility:
What if the event is being transformed into something that will work even better for me?
What if it’s making space for something else altogether—something I don’t yet see?
What if what feels like rejection is actually redirection to something even more aligned?
When I soften to those possibilities, the fear loses some of its grip. I’m better able to accept what is, rather than getting lost in the what-ifs.
If you find yourself caught in a similar spiral, here’s a simple process to help shift from feeling stuck to making space:
Notice when things feel personal. Pay attention to the stories forming around the situation. Are you seeing it as something happening to you?
Support your nervous system. When emotions feel overwhelming, pause to calm your nervous system—whether through movement, breath, or grounding techniques.
Explore the layers beneath your reaction. What’s underneath your frustration, disappointment, or fear? Keep gently asking yourself, “And what’s beneath that?”
Hold space for both fear and possibility. Instead of forcing yourself into positive thinking, soften into curiosity. Ask, “What else might be true here?”
Trust that you can navigate what comes. The goal isn’t to avoid discomfort, but to move through it with a wider perspective, self-compassion and trust in your own resilience.
Twists and turns will always be part of life. Some will shake us. Some will feel unfair. And some will make us question everything. But when we practice creating space, we can step out of the role of the actor and into the role of the observer. We remember that our power isn’t in controlling every twist and turn—it’s in how we choose to meet them.
It doesn’t mean the discomfort disappears, but it does help us move through it with greater clarity, resilience, and trust.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
