We often wonder why we struggle to change patterns when we know they no longer serve us, or why certain triggers elicit strong reactions; the answers often lie in our past.

“C’mon, hurry up already!” “What’s taking so long?” How often have you heard that? Or said it? While there are moments in life when quick action is necessary, many of us approach our daily lives with an undue sense of haste, and it’s not as beneficial as we might think.

Ever look at someone and think, “Wow, they are so gifted! I wish I could do that!”? Yeah, me too!…It’s easy to assume they’re naturally proficient, but regardless of talent, practice plays a pivotal role. For most of us, developing skills is less about innate ability and more about giving ourselves permission to suck at something and the time to improve.

Ask yourself - are you the same person you were as a teenager, a decade ago, or even three years back? Every experience, whether good or bad, shapes us. The essential question then is: Does this change bring us closer to our true selves, or does it pull us further away?

Nervous system regulation isn’t about evading our feelings – it’s about engaging with them more authentically. By embracing our bodily sensations as messengers, we learn not just to survive, but to thrive.

As we navigate through the complexities of life, our inner narratives serve as the lens through which we interpret our experiences. But what happens when these narratives become outdated or misaligned with reality. We all carry stories from our past into the present, often unaware of their deep-rooted influence.

Our societal drive for more, focused on external measures, paired with our ego’s quest for safety, often push us towards constant hustle. The outcome? More stuff, perhaps, but undoubtedly dwindling time for relationships, connection, and ultimately, diminished well-being.

We all possess facets of ourselves that are difficult to embrace – traits we wish to change yet feel stuck in. And with each repetitive cycle of these behaviours, not only does our inner critic amplify its intensity, but that pattern also becomes more deeply engrained.

Ah the ego – a topic of endless discussion and often the source of so much inner conflict…We all have one, and no matter how much personal growth we undertake, it remains a steadfast companion. So, it’s not a matter of asking if we have an ego, but rather, what is our relationship with our ego?

Conflict is inevitable in our close relationships, and how we handle it will inevitably influence how we feel about our relationships. So what are some tools and guidelines we can consider to keep conflict from going off the rails?

While we may not be at fault for all the circumstances of our lives, we are responsible for them. That doesn’t mean we have the power to control everything that happens to us, but we always have the power to choose how we respond.

While taking my first steps on this journey, feeling stuck and ready for things to change, part of me secretly hoped for that one ‘a-ha’ moment that would usher in peace, freedom, and fulfillment…The fantasy of waking up one day fully equipped with all the answers and willpower to flawlessly implement them, without hesitation or set-backs, is just that – a fantasy.

…having a supportive tribe – be it family, friends, or a blend of both – is essential for personal and social flourishing. However, as our interactions increasingly shift online, the definition of our “tribe” blurs. Are we mistakenly assuming that acceptance and understanding from every casual acquaintance are necessary?

I wore my “perfectionist” badge with honour, equating it with high standards and unwavering commitment. But diving deeper into personal growth, I realized what I thought was a superpower, had become more of a kryptonite than anything else.

Think back to being a kid or teen. What made a bigger impact? Being told what we ‘should’ do by someone who didn’t walk their talk, or getting advice from someone who lived it? Whether it’s at home or out in the world, like John C. Maxwell says, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

…what happens when that conflict is with someone who just knows how to push our buttons – like a partner or family member. These deeply woven relationships can make defensiveness feel almost inescapable. Yet, Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that defensiveness is a key predictor of relationship health. So, how do we shift from defensiveness to receptiveness?

In a world brimming with disagreements – whether with a colleague, loved one or a stranger online – it’s tempting to avoid engaging in conflict. It’s uncomfortable and demands a lot from our nervous system. But here’s the thing: conflict is an inevitable part of the human experience. The trick isn’t in avoiding it, but instead learning how to navigate it healthily.

As our world becomes more entwined with technology, ironically, our connections seem to fray. It has me wondering, are we losing the art of meaningful, assertive communication amid a sea of brief, digital messages?

…living out of sync with our core values can leave us feeling unfulfilled. This isn’t about judging values, but rather noticing if the values we’re using to make our decisions actually feel aligned for us.

So, why is this inner relationship so crucial? It’s the bedrock of our self-esteem and the compass that guides us to our core values. When we understand and honour our values, every decision we make becomes a reflection of our authentic selves. We transcend beyond chasing external benchmarks of success or acceptance to build a life that’s genuinely ours.